This is a convention hotel, as I mentioned.So guess what OTHER convention is going on here?
A bondage convention. Bondage, as in S&M.
EEEEEWWWW!!! eeewww EEEWWWWW.
Most of them are in black – Darth Vader vampire icky witches things with one blood red rose in stringy hair, creepy guys with pointed hairdo’s …
Nobody’s pretty. They’re noticeably ugly in fact. A lot of them are obese.
Last night around 4am I’m walking to the elevator and way down the hall in the dim light is a nurse coming toward me. I didn’t know yet about the Bondage Convention. I’m tired, not paying full attention. But after she walked (waddled, I should say, she was enormous) by I took several steps then stopped in my tracks, confused, and turned around to watch her thinking “Gee. That’s strange. Wonder why she’s wearing 6″ shiny white patent-leather platform heels. Her skirt. That skirt is a little short. And that tiny, shiny white pocketbook dangling on her arm. Something is not quite right with this nurse. What is wrong with this picture? Oh well you’re tired. You’ll figure it out later.”
Then the guy in the elevator asks me “Hey are you a swinger?”
WHAT?!? I say, WHAT? NO. NO!
“There’s a Swingers party going on downstairs.”
Yeah okay I mumble, turning my back to him and staring intently out the glass.
“No really, there’s a Swingers Convention downstairs in the side ballroom.”
Really? I say, Are you serious? Oh my gawd you’re kidding! Really? what’s going ON down there?
“Oh, just a lot of f-ing.”
No kidding. That is exactly what he said.
Jordan says he was in the elevator today and a woman was twitching and jumping and vibrating all over the place. Jordan figured she was maybe part of the wheelchair convention and maybe happened to not be in her wheelchair at the moment (some wheelchair people are still here). But then this other guy in the elevator says “What are you jumping around about? Looks like you’re all hepped up.” Jordan’s thinking whoa now that was pretty rude, poor girl probably has some condition or something.
Then the girl answers “Oooh I am SO excited! I just took an Advanced Bondage class! And I can barely stand it! I’m going up to my room to try some stuff!”
Oh yeah, and JJ finals have been posted.
1st Alt Bryan Jordan
2nd Alt Oscar
1st Alt Jeanne DeGeyter
2nd Alt Rebecca Ludwick
Chris Van Houten
(they like Chris’s here in Chicago)
1st Alt Arthur Uspensky
2nd Alt Will Shaver
Melissa’s Rollins and Spencer
1st Alt Lara Deni
2nd Alt Kim Blume