SwingDiego 2013 Update #4

OMGAWD We just watched Champions Jack and Jill Prelims.

Two heats which took over an hour to accomplish and we’re all wishing it would have taken three or four or ten hours because it was SO FUNNNNNY!!!

Royston couldn’t be on the mic cause he was dancing.

Parker couldn’t be on the mic cause he was running the wonderful Project Swing workshops (free workshops taught by the top teachers of the world – last year 100 brand new people attended these workshops – complete strangers to west coast swing brought in primarily via word-of-mouth, friends inviting friends, strangers met in the airport, mall, restaurant, hotel … what an awesome idea!)

So who was going to emcee the Champion Jack and Jill?

“So You Think You Can Dance” theme music comes on and out walks …

… Benji!

Because Benji wasn’t dancing in the Jack and Jill.  He can’t cause he won’t be able to dance tomorrow in finals (if he were to make finals, that is) because he’ll be taping his upcoming appearance on “Ellen” (a great TV show here in the States – Ellen DeGeneres, a comedian, now talk-show host – very funny.)

Talk about being born to be on a mic! Benji is Buddy’s son. Born to Perform. HEEEE-LARIOUS! This was a one-hour stand-up routine. Solid laughs from the minute he took the mic, every word from his mouth fall-down hilarious. What great energy in the ballroom! Everyone was laughing, how could you not be? All the contestants, all the audience members, all the staff, everyone in the room was in stitches for an hour.

He brought the leaders on one by one grossly mispronouncing every name and accentuating ev-er-y syl-la-ble completely wrong, especially bungling the non-American names. And adding jokes and nicknames to each. Personally tailored teasing and picking on his friends. These guys know each other so well, watching them is like watching brothers laughing at each other.

Luis Crespo was Clueless Crappo. Maxime Zaaa Ahhhhh Zzzzzzz Waaaa Zaaaa Ooooooeeeeeee. From Siberia Mr. Paul Warden.  Pedro Verde are you here? That’s Pete Green. I speak (in an accent) “zee authentic leenguage.” “Please-do-not-boo-her Miss Melissa Yaaaaay!” (audience always calls “Ruuuuuuuuuutz” when she comes on the floor which sounds like booing.) “Mr. Myles Cunningham.”

Same thing bringing on the judges – “Marteeen ParkerDearborn,” “Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island,” “Neeeeee Co-laaaaaa” (like the Riccola cough-drop ad,) “Pa Heeeel Adams.”

The last judge was Sharlot Bott which he pronounced correctly. “I don’t dare mispronounce Sharlot’s name. I would fear for my life.”

“The theme for the Jack and Jill has changed,” he said, “They’ve decided to do music from 80’s sitcoms.

“Which were cancelled in their first season.

“In Russia.”

(making fun of the DJ’s continual struggle to come up with interesting music themes for Champions divisions)

“No, that’s not what the theme is. I have no idea what the theme is. But the music will be So. Good. because these are the Best. DJ’s. In. The. World.” (major kissy sucking-up sounds at the DJ booth.)

A few leaders weren’t in the ballroom yet, a few judges’ sheets were missing names, the heats weren’t straighened out, Mark Sheuffle (Chief Judge this weekend) trying to get it organized – Benji just made the moment VERY funny announcing what was more than obvious,

“We have some confusion here.”

“Hey did you guys hear that Michael Jackson died?” “Hey here’s Nick King! Everybody let’s give a round of applause to Nick King for being late!” “Hey we’re trying this new innovation called ‘Jack and Jill’ we’ve never tried it before at an event.” “Hey did you hear that Whitney Houston died? Who knew?” “Hey, leaders,” (speaking in a bizarre accent) “leaders – your challenge will be to incorporate a WHIP into your dance. Did anyone understand me with that accent? Hey have you ever heard Kellese talk? She says something and I’m like WHAT?!? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?”

“And now we’re calling out the followers! The reason 90% of us dance west coast swing!” (that cracked up not only the audience but Benji himself was doubled over laughing.) “And here is Brandi Tobias, my ex-wife.” “And Tatiana Moooooolah-meeeeen. Tatiana go away. You’re not in this heat. You’re the weakest link.”

Through all of this Louis is playing Pitbull in the background, Irish step-dance music, Indian Bollywood music and the Champion contestants are lined up out there dancing all genres, horsing around, laughing … just hilarious.

And the dancing! Oh my gosh. Champions Jack and Jills at SwingDiego are always the best. Cause they’re so happy here!

Oh and Jordan and Jessica drew each other in the final rotation and Jessica’s loose shirt came off. Completely off. Jordan had to pick it up from the floor and hurl it into the audience (PJ caught it! Like a wedding bouquet! Except I don’t know what that means for PJ). And there’s Jessica clutching at her sports bra and Benji says “And that is the reason that bulimia works, folks.”

I am a huge fan of inappropriate humor. And now an even huger fan of Benji.

Champions songs:

“Signed, Sealed, Delivered” (Craig David)
“Soul Serenade” (Jeff Golub)
“Treasure” (Bruno Mars)
“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”
Things Are Changin” (Gary Clark)
“Get Lucky” (Daft Punk)


6 responses to “SwingDiego 2013 Update #4

  1. Ohhhhhh!!! Thank you so much Liza!
    I’m missing it, 😦 but so feel like I was there:)
    You are so awesome!

    • Most welcome Audrey! Wish you *had* been there! Next year maybe? Parker says this year was nothing compared to what they already have in store for next year. So maybe you can plan on it! I hope so. It’s an event not to miss if you can possibly swing it. (hey I said “swing” it hahahaha) xoxoxo

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